It doesn’t take long for seemingly buried lust to make its way out of its shallow grave.
I had gone a while since my last stumble into the depths of pornography, even reporting late last night to my partners in the struggle that “I can honestly say that, because of the power of the Almighty, I’m cleaner on the porn stuff than I have been in a long time.” I wasn’t lying. I was beginning to see girls once again in the way that God intended. And then today I thought, “I haven’t watched porn in two weeks, I am doing really well.” After that, the Enemy moved quickly. I can’t even remember this time exactly what it was that set it off. Maybe it was the girl I watched two nights ago as she walked to her car. I knew I should look away, but it was just one little thing, right? Maybe it was scrolling through Instagram today. The beach pictures. Anything can set my mind down a dangerous path. Sometimes I feel like I can’t even close my eyes for fear of images scrolling through my mind. It all happened so fast. When it was over, I felt like I always do after porn: cheated, lied to, and ashamed.
But today, I believe the Lord used my experience to push me to write this.
When working to get past porn:
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
So you’ve gone a few days, weeks, months, or years without porn? Give God the glory! God is making you into a new creation, something far greater than what we could ever dream or imagine, but you are not. The only thing we can do is fully trust and glorify God for dragging us out of the pit of despair, and into the land of the living!
Do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:27
No small amount of lust is ok. We live in a world that wants to make sin look normal. Pornography and masturbation are common conversations in pop culture. The joking and the lighthearted nature of the conversation is not ok. Porn defiles what God has set apart. Its time we start being offended by the culture. So whether its the bikini picture on Instagram or the girl at the supermarket, let’s be good stewards of the gift God has given us.
The Enemy is a good liar. Every day when we wake up, Satan is offering us less, and Jesus is offering us more. We need to choose Jesus every second of every day. That’s the only way we can beat this. We are all in this together.
Written from the midst of the struggle.
themidstofthestruggle 
Thank you for sharing your fight. It’s interesting to read the other perspective. “Being good stewards of the gift..” is a phrase I use often and a practice I desire to maintain in my life.
We’re both writing anonymously – which speaks to the shame of this struggle – shame for both addict and loved one.
Take care and keep fighting.
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