#DAY3 – DATING MY DEMONS

The most frustrating part about my struggle with porn is that is predictable.

Same time. Same location. Everyday.

I know when, and where I will be most tempted to look at porn and masturbate. I am most tempted at the same time, at the same location, every single day. It’s like I have a date night with my sin. But instead of date night only being once a week, it is every single night. Our date is repeating, and it is predictable.

Same time. Same location. Everyday.

Every night when I crawl in bed, I know what is going to happen. I know my demons will meet me in my bed. As I pull the covers over me it is as if I am pulling temptation with it.

I have tried all the remedies to porn that I have heard. But see the problem is that my accountability partners go to sleep before I do. My Wi-Fi filters only work if I am actually on my Wi-Fi network, instead of streaming data from my phone.

So I am stuck with a routine of sin. I know when it is coming and I can’t seem to stop it.

Same time. Same location. Everyday.

So Jesus, here is my prayer to you. Third wheel my date with sin. Meet us there. I can tell you where and when we are meeting; all I ask is that you show up. Show up and hold my hand and keep my attention on you. Because Jesus, without you, I am only failing. My prayer and my invitation are for you to show up, even when I don’t want you to.

Same time. Same location. Everyday.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.

Written from the midst of the struggle.

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#DAY3 – DATING MY DEMONS